Stuff Pseudo-White People Like Me Like

INDIE MUSIC

If you want to understand white people, you need to understand indie music. As mentioned before, white people hate anything that’s “mainstream” and are desperate to find things that are more genuine, unique, and reflective of their experiences.

Fortunately, they have independent music.

. . . But BE WARNED, talking about indie music with white people is perhaps the most dangerous subject you touch upon. One false move and you will lose their respect and admiration forever. Here are some general rules.

• Bands that have had their songs in an Apple ad are still marginally acceptable
• Bands that have had their songs in ads for other companies are not acceptable
• If you mention a band you like and the other person has heard of them, you lose. They own you. It is essential that you like the most obscure music possible.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/30/40-indie-music/



APPLE PRODUCTS (Partly applies to me)

Apple products tell the world you are creative and unique. They are an exclusive product line only used by every white college student, designer, writer, English teacher, and hipster on the planet.

. . . When you ask white people about Macs they will say “oh, it’s so much better than Windows,” “it’s just easier to use,” “they are so cutting edge,” and so forth. What’s amazing is that white people NEED to meet people who use Windows to justify themselves spending an extra $500 for a pretty looking machine.

It is also important that white people are reminded of their creativity, and remember you need a Mac to creatively check email, creatively check websites, and creatively watch DVDs on planes.

. . . You then need to drive to a local coffee shop (Starbucks will do in a pinch) and set up your Apple for the world to see. Thankfully, the Apple logo on the back will light up! So even in a dark place, people can see how unique and creative you (and the five other people doing the exact same thing) truly are!

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/30/39-apple-products/